An Open Letter to my Future Self

Dear me,

First, don’t cringe as you read this. I’m hopeful you’re writing has improved since–well since you were me. Hopefully your problem with procrastination has gotten better too. Writing this letter has been on my to do list all year but only now, on New Year’s Eve, am I actually sitting down to write it.

It’s been a good year though. I finished freshman year, moved on to sophomore year, formed new friendships, worked for ministry, started my job as a test proctor in the fall, and generally had a decent time. This is the year you were told you were assertive–and though you didn’t believe it at first you realized it’s true. Or rather, that it has become true over that first year at school. It was the year you learned you were an extravert, a phlegmatic-melancholic, and an ESFJ.

2013 had it’s downsides too though. This was the summer you worked at the cafe and got pushed around by a boss who thought he knew everything. It was the year you realized you’re not cut out to be a waitress. This was the year your great aunt passed away. And the year a classmate lost her life in a car accident. For you, with ministry work, it’s been a hard last few months…your life is busy all the time with places to be, emails to read, and work to do. But it’s worth it and you try to remind yourself when you remember. It’s been hard living in a suite–not everyone sees eye-to-eye but you’re making it through all right and this ext semester will hopefully be better.

I don’t know when I/you will open this. Perhaps I’ll be a teacher by then. Or maybe a tutor or nanny during my first year after school. Maybe I’ll be in grad school. Or maybe (would it be possible?) planning my wedding. Or perhaps, rather, I’ll be preparing myself to enter religious life. Or maybe it won’t be that far in the future, maybe it will be next New Year’s Eve. Still, there’s things I want you to remember.

Right now your dreams career-wise are to either be a teacher in a Catholic school with enough special education background to help the students who need a little something extra or to be a curriculum director with a Catholic diocese. Or maybe both. I want to work in a Catholic school in the hopes that I’ll be surrounded by other people striving for holiness, looking to please God. People who can encourage me just by being themselves. People like those I’ve encountered in ministry.

I don’t know if either of those career dreams will come true. Maybe God has other plans.

My sister’s thinking about coming to my school. We’ve been talking about it lately and she’s enamored. Did she come?

More questions:

Did you hop back on the charting bandwagon?
Has God revealed your vocation? What is it?
How’s your prayer life?
Did you ever go abroad?
Are you still a Pinterest addict?
How’s the blog?
How are your friends from college?
Are you where you dreamed you would be?
Are you living the life I hope I’ll have someday?

Other things I want you to remember:
You are beautiful.
You are loved.
Don’t take things too seriously.
Have fun.
Be a lady.
Love fiercely.
Don’t let scruples get the best of you.
Be strong.
Put God first.
Stay connected with the family.
Always speak up for what you believe.

Well me, that’s that. It’s jumbled, it’s confused, it’s admittedly rushed and haphazard, it’s sentimental and gooey. It’s you when you were me.

All the best (or is that just a bit self-serving?),

Yourself

P.S. this is pretty much unedited, so forgive the jumpiness and jumbledness.

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