My Theory of Waiting as a Woman

As promised:

I have this theory about waiting. As women, we often wait for things in relationships. Some waiting is good; some is bad. And some girls don’t wait at all. I recently watched the movie Enchanted… and I realized boys need to be more like a Prince Charming, and girls need to be less like damsels in distress. I already talked about men here.

So, what about the women?

Well, in the movie you have a sappy princess who believes no matter what her prince will come, whisk her way, and everything will be all right. Generally, I like all that romantic stuff. But Giselle annoys me. See, there are a few scenes where she’s, for example, looking out the window dreaming of her prince and ignoring the facts around her.

The Bad Kind of Waiting

This is what the princess does, she sits and dreams or her prince coming but doesn’t do anything to meet him. She expects him to do all the work and forgets that she’s even got a life to work on in the mean time. Eventually, of course, she takes charge and does stuff. But the early Giselle is the issue.

Women today sometimes act like that in their own way. Perhaps they don’t do anything to find that potential husband. Or they forget that they too might need an education, even if they expect him to be the breadwinner. They put all their hopes and base all their decisions on marrying a man they haven’t met yet. Of course, its important to think ahead, to dream. But don’t dream too much. Remember that you might not find your Prince Charming until you’re 30, or maybe he won’t be exactly what you planned, or maybe you’ll be happy being a single women or pursuing some other vocation.

The other kind of bad waiting involves always hoping or expecting something better. This kind of girl doesn’t settle down, just in case something better comes along in the future. Inevitably she winds up hopping from man to man and is never satisfied.

The Non-Waiting

This is another problem. To me, it’s worse than waiting the wrong way. And it certainly seems more prevalent. A non-waiting girl is a girl on the other end of the spectrum and there are 3 types: the impatient, the settler, and the loose woman. The impatient girl is one in a big hurry to find that perfect man. She cringes at the idea of getting married later than 25 and winds up dating a lot, searching for Mr. Right. She might find him, but she’s not going to be happy until she does. And if he’s not everything she dreamed, she won’t be satisfied. The girl who settles decides she must get married and figures her current boyfriend is either as good as she’ll get or the best she can do right now. Her relationship is not really based on absolute love and if something better does come along she may feel robbed and disappointed. Consequences for the marriage could be terminal. The last type, the loose woman, uses her body to get what she wants. She’s quite possibly not a fan of marriage and decides to live that way before any rings have been given. Maybe she thinks of settling down someday, but until then why not have some fun? This woman has issues all her own. She may feel guilty. And if she gets married she may feel like she’s disappointed or betrayed  her husband. It may even be difficult to stop the chain and actually settle down.

Waiting Correctly

This is simpler than it sounds. The girl waiting correctly is not a loose woman. She saves that. Neither does she place all her hopes in some imagined future husband. She may even recognize that she may never get married and that that’s okay. She is content to wait but she is not a damsel in distress. She can pull her own wait and work towards creating a family with her husband, if she does get married. She trusts God and knows that whatever happens, He will provide and she will survive.

Some girls need to be less like damsels in distress and some girls need to learn the value of waiting. Of course, not every girl falls perfectly into one or other of these categories. There are a lot of different ways to wait and to not wait. Just remember, when it comes to dating, there is such a thing as waiting. It exists. And it can be done the wrong way. But it can also be done beautifully.

So, have I got right? Tell me what you think.


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