I recently discovered the blog Guys on Modesty. It’s a great site and I highly recommend it! It also got me thinking about modesty…
Modesty is something I have strived for for years. But, everyone seems to have different rules about what they consider modest. And I’ve heard or seen both sides: the more lenient side and the especially conservative side. Some say a collar should be no more than two fingers breadth below the collarbone while others are okay with a whole hand width or even some cleavage. There’s different thoughts about skirts vs. pants and whether the changing face of society has any right to influence modesty.
But one thing that I hear over and over again is that modesty is to help men. Well, yes. That’s true. But. One article I read a while ago (and I wish I could remember where it was but I don’t) talked about modesty being more than that. Modesty is also about a woman respecting herself enough to not show herself as an object to men.
However, as this article from LifeTeen says, modesty can be downright annoying. I know I’ve been frustrated at times in my attempts at modesty. Not only are there no easy-to-follow rules, but even putting an outfit together can be enough to make you want to give up. I know I’ve felt that way. And don’t even get me started on shopping…
So why do it? For myself. For God. For society. Whatever your reason provocativeness is liable to be in there somewhere. Whether you see it as a way of not provoking guys or whether you see it as a way of respecting yourself and not encouraging guys to see you as a object, the goal is the same. We need to know, then, what guys actually think.
One of the things I discovered on the Guys on Modesty blog was a link to this survey: http://www.therebelution.com/modestysurvey/browse
If you want to know what some guys REALLY think about modesty and the way girls dress and move look at this survey. Not every response is as clean-cut as this one, but it’s a good resource. I’m not saying it’s perfect. After all, they only surveyed so many guys. Their own website admits:
The Modesty Survey was not intended to serve as a scientific measurement of what the average man thinks about modesty. In the strictest sense, it isn’t a survey, but a discussion between Christian guys and girls who care about modesty. Over 200 Christian girls submitted their questions. In less than twenty days, over 1,600 Christian guys (12 and up) responded. Close to 200,000 separate pieces of data were collected, including 25,000 text responses.
The point is that though modesty may be annoying, difficult and seem pointless on the surface, how we women dress really does affect the men we encounter every day and we should be aware of that. Let that knowledge empower you when you get dressed tomorrow morning. Respect yourself. And respect those around you. When you do, they’re likely to respect you too.
Note: Seems to me this will be the first of several blog posts on this topic, don’t let the title fool you.