What I Wish Every Girl Knew About Dating

I know a couple girls who are currently in relationships. One of these girls (let’s call her “Lisa”) is 17 and has a boyfriend who is 25. The other (“Mary”)  is only 14. I know both of these wonderful ladies well, and though I love them (or rather because I love them) I know they’re not ready for these relationships. But Mary is infatuated with her 16-year-old boyfriend. And Lisa feels breaking off her relationship would equal social suicide. So in those relationships, they remain. I pray God will direct and heal both these girls.

I’d like to share 10 tips about dating. Hopefully these will help any girl who reads them who happens to be in a bad relationship or who wants some advice on how to avoid them. So ladies, as you think about dating remember this:

1) You don’t need a boyfriend. I don’t care what anyone else says. You don’t. This is true. Repeat it over and over to yourself until it sinks in. It doesn’t matter if you have a boyfriend or not. That does not determine your worth.

2) If you have a boyfriend he should not be the center of your world, social life, etc. It makes it hard if you determine he’s not the one.

3) Put God first, always. He should be the kind of man who doesn’t hinder your relationship with God, but rather strengthens it. And yes, those kind of men do exist.

4) Boys don’t stay with girls who have one-night stands. Save that for marriage ladies. Have some mystery to you, some feminine mystique. And, just be decent. There’s a lot more I could say. But that’s anther post.

5) “Find your bridesmaids before you find your groom” (from “How to Find Your Soulmate Without Losing Your Soul” by Jason and Crystalina Evert). Also, find yourself first so that you won’t base your identity on him.

6) Your relationship is going to go one of two ways: either you’re going to get married or you’re going to break up. (I don’t remember where I saw this. But I love its simple truth.)

7) Please don’t date significantly older men. It just complicates things.

8) You and your BF should have the same ideas about marriage. That’s very important. For why, see number 6.

9) Don’t date until you’re ready. Your readiness to date is not dictated by society, your friends, or any guy. This is something you need to determine for you. Don’t let anyone pressure you into something you’re not ready for. After all, it’s you who will end up paying the price not them.

10) You are beautiful. End of story. No arguments. No “but”s. No. You are beautiful. And its not because of your boyfriend. You are beautiful because you are you. Don’t let anyone tell you different, not even your boyfriend.

These 10 points aren’t the only advice I could say on dating, but they’re a start. Above all, remember your own worth and think about the future.

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